Sunday, 13 October 2013

Top 5 Pranks to play on your spouse - The Revenge

So you have been the victim of a cruel prank by someone you thought was the closest to you? You may be feeling like you should strike back quickly but be patient, the thought of what you might do will be added torture for them.

1 - On the loo

 Two of the best types of pranks are bathroom pranks and sleeping pranks. The reason is because it catches them off guard but also because they don't immediately chase after you and give you a beat down! This prank is simple throw water over them and laugh, but sometimes the originals are best.

2 - Ouch up the nose

 People look so peaceful when they sleep, but of course not when they have a nose full of hotsauce. Just check for allergies before doing this one!

3 - Slippy when wet
Wait on your partner to go for a shower, then lace the floor with butter, easier to do depending on the layout of your bathroom but only works when they are coming out the shower so be stealth like. Another option would to be pour olive oil  under the door!

4 - What waterbed?
Your partner always going on about your extravegant spending? Why not surprise them with a water bed, when they first sit on it. they will be like wow its really wavy, until the water soaks through then the laughs begin. Be careful as this can get very messy!

5 - Slap bang wallop
Mindless violence is funny, a good hard slap on the bum can be insult enough but this is beyond funny when you also deliver a creampie to the face (not that type you perv). I can see how clowns made a living out of that kinda prank for decades, until they became creepy!

Saturday, 12 October 2013

These T-Shirts come with Balls!

People choose their slogans on a t-shirt for a whole host of reasons, from comedy irony to proud proclamation of faith. Choosing when to wear them is key, but some people are either stupid or have some serious balls to pull off a provocative t-shirt in public. 

Here are some great examples:

1. Iran Election t-shirt
If you don't read the news then you won't be aware of the political tension between Iran and the US. The nuclear aspirations of Iran have long been a stumbling block for political discussions between these two countries and the rising tensions of religious beliefs between the two nations doesn't help matters. So when your voting in a predominently Muslim country in an election for a country that has been stifled in its nuclear goals by the US it takes some serious courage to wear a "God Bless America" T-Shirt. Of course it may have been worn ironically, but i wouldn't chance it!

2 - I'm a great dad
If your sick of your kids bringing their friends over the the house, eating all the food and generally making the place a pig sty, then perhaps your should take a leaf out of this guys book. Proclaim your greatness with your t-shirt whilst your choice of shorts will proclaim I am a total embarrassement to my kids. Short shorts are great, we all love short shorts but guys, with bellies shouldn't be sold these, it's like serving a drunk guy another beer, it just shouldn't be allowed!

3 - Creepy pulling t-shirt
Wow your t-shirt is hilarious for about five seconds, and if your wondering around on your own, with sunglasses on and randomly sitting next to hot ladies it is not cool, its very very creepy. Perhaps the sunglasses are to stop the stinging when you get maced?

4 - Gun Violence is cool!

Being a celebrity is difficult, every time you step out the door some red top paper has splashed your outfit for all to see. Many celebs make this work for them by promoting charities or their own new material, or perhaps even a political belief. But picking a subject so devicive is probably a tad too far, people won't like that Uzi and some people will love it. Let's find out on the ratings of your next TV show or film!

5 - Don't date my daughter
Fathers have tried many tactics to get their daughters to not date, from cleaning the barrell of your gun on the porch as he picks her up, to arm wrestling on dining room table. When this unfortunate girl missed curfew her dad got a t-shirt printed, the scariest looking picture he could find of himself emblazened onto her top will no doubt serve its purpose. I guess this would only work if your built like a brick shithouse!

If you have a great idea why not let us know!

Google+ - The home of Comedy and Advice

The rise of Google+ in the social networking market is both a blessing and a nightmare. The early adopters of Google+ were mainly bloggers and internet savvy business users, quickly claiming their business profile and beginning to churn out some seriously useful advice. The amount of support and advice, the ease of use and the great functionality meant this social network was a breath of fresh air. Facebook went all corporate and are trying to monetise their systems by force feeding you adds, reducing the newsfeed items from those you want to read replacing them with prominent marketing. Twitter became the playground of trolls and viruses, looking to annoy or infect you. Linkedin is the network for the professional and their complex user interface and difficult navigation makes it a labour intensive excercise. Myspace, do they still exist?

Where did it all go wrong?

Like any good party it starts to sour, the DJ has changed the record and the drunks start to appear. Google+ is now littered with the perverts, the teen angst and yes the cat pictures. What makes google+ really cool was the ability to share content that was good, but in doing this there are entire communities of people who do nothing but share other peoples posts, like some kind of weird echo. It obviously works with thousands following these echos, waiting on the next post they want to rip off, or perhaps in the hope they can share theirs.

Here are five things you will find you come across often on G+

1 - The informative post

2 - The Business post

3 - The 'Funny'

4 - The Political

5 - The Sex

It ain't all that bad!

Alas it isn't all doom and gloom though, you can be picky about who you follow, ensuring you encase them in a well titled circle so you can filter out the nonsense and noise and get to the gold. The other great thing about google+ is the communities, finding them may be increasingly difficult due to the number now on there, but once you get a good one that is well moderated you can find all the advice in the world. A blend of sharing good content and posting your own unique items is the best way to get ahead, as with anything on the internet black hat techniques may get you a thousand followers but it won't get you any quality. Engage with people, comment on posts and share their info but most of all don't post cat pictures, I hate them!

Monday, 7 October 2013

How to get rid of cold callers on the phone!

These days you have probably already registered for the telephone preference service or your local equivalent, but you may find you still get a ridiculous amount of unwanted calls on your phone. So here are some tricks about how to get those cold callers to stop ringing you.

1. Get a Whistle

A loud blast of the whistle will no doubt have the caller throwing their headset down on the desk, that individual won't be bothering you again.

2. Talk dirty to them

These cold callers are getting friendlier, asking your first name and referring to you as 'mate' or 'pal', why not turn the tables on them and get saucy, its sure to at least get them to end the call quickly.
3. Name Drop

Google is only ever a button press away so why not Google their cheif executives details and mention to the cold caller you are personal friends, they will either hang up or mark your account as VIP do not disturb!
4. Leave the Handset

Ask them to explain something then leave the phone off the hook, alternatively say "Oh thats my door i'll be back in a second" this might not immediately reduce the calls but at least the time they wait is time they ain't bugging some other poor sod!
5. Pretend Your the Cops 

The best one by far is to frighten the life out of the cold caller and pretend you are at a murder scene, check out the below video clip for the transcript of how to do this!

Of course the best example would be for you to simply change your number to a premium rate number and let them get charged to call you, making you lots of money and really annoying these cold callers. This may not be entirely legal unless you have a recording to warn callers of your premium rate and you may find yourself leaving your number on websites for quotes of things you don't want, mailing lists, and even bathroom walls, but remember this isn't a full time job it was meant to just stop cold callers!

Friday, 4 October 2013

Politically Charged T-Shirts - Have you got yours?

The news that US government had shut down was music to the ears of one industry, the personalised garment industry. Because they have been in boom time since the announcement with a series of hilarious t-shirts all aiming at the US government and the rather crazy goings on of the biggest world super power. 



We have seen all kinds of different take on the big political news of the day and it got me thinking, what other politically motivated t-shirts are out there and I came across some corkers. Here are my top five politically motivated t-shirts.

5. Be Green
The environment is often the easiest of political motivations, you see many celebrities adorn a green message on their top, but I like this because its subtle and the printing placement is different. 

Socialism is like a dirty word in large sections of the US, thanks to a sustained belief since the cold war that it is just another form or communism. Of course the irony on this anti-Obama T-shirt is that he is not a socialist, in fact he is very much a capitalist and wants to see big profits across big companies.

3. Banksy
The guerrilla artist Banksy says things that the world thinks, he is anti-establishment and anti-capitalism defined, giving his art away for free. This t-shirt is one of his greatest works, funnily enough because he is anonymous he can't claim royalties, d'oh!

2.Free Tibet
The free tibet campaign has been around for a long time and this t-shirt is a great example of how political messages can be powerful on many different levels. Applying to popular culture but also being clear.

1. Scottish Independence

In 2014 the Scottish residents will decide whether they are to be self determined or remained governed by Westminster. This once in a lifetime referendum comes amid some of the worst economic times and sustained cuts to public spending, given the countries more socialistic views we can but hope this vote is a big fat YES!

Have you got an embarrassing political t-shirt of your own? or would you like to make one, let me know your ideas!