Saturday, 24 August 2013

Advice you already knew and probably didn't need....again!

If you consider the volume of searches for most topics which go through the search engine Google each and every day, you could be forgiven for thinking they somehow have a monopoly on internet content. Whether you are a fan or not, Google don't do things badly, they have the best performing search engine, the fastest growing social network and a raft of other services which are being gobbled up by the internet savvy at every turn. 

So what next for this behemoth company? Well my two cents says that if they were to really want to attract the best to their shores they could simply run a lottery each and every day, it wouldn't even need to be a particularly complex or exciting code rich service either. Here is how Google has the power to make you rich overnight.

If you have a blog with adsense or a business listing on google, they could drive literally millions of visitors to your site. The way they could do this is by utilising the already existing keywords your website or listing has signed up for. Ranking you first for a day would drive the volume of traffic that would be life changing. This would happen one of two ways, the number of ad clicks on your blog would sky rocket and you would be rich, or alternatively you would generate the kind of sales that only Amazon enjoy. This overnight success for your business could really change lives, giving something back to the millions of Google users at no cost, like a lottery with the cost of either time or money spread across millions of other people. 

The publicity factor alone in a stunt like this would be so earth shatteringly positive that people who shun Google for their dodgy tax evasion and questionable monopolisation of the internet would simply forgive and forget. So Google, why not make everyone's life a bit more exciting and perhaps show some love back to the little fish of the internet?

In reality this is unlikely to ever happen because corporate entities have no moral conscious and care so little for the individual they may not even notice when they destroy your rankings due to a human error. Any advice you have been given about ways to make money online, by either writing content or selling goods has led you here to the truth of the matter, to the only advice you will ever need to hold onto as you furiously attempt to escape your day job for the promised land of self employment, working from home!

 To be successful in both making money from writing online, or selling goods through a website:

- Write shit people enjoy
- Sell shit people want to own

Good luck

Sunday, 18 August 2013

How to get the best Uniforms EVER!

At school everyone used to hate wearing uniform, it was the ultimate defiance of authority to leave you top button undone. If you were lucky you could just about stomach that neck choking tie until second period by which time it was either tied round your head to make you look like some cool School Rambo or stuff so deep in your bag it was wrapped round those egg sandwiches mum made you that you couldn't eat in the canteen because everyone would accuse you of farting.

But when you enter the workplace all that changes, if you like your job the uniform is worn with pride, if you hate it then it is worn like a death row inmate dons a jumpsuit. If you own or run a business there can be an alternative, make your uniforms cool, get your employees to help design them or perhaps just rip off a cool idea you saw on TV. There are a multitude of companies who stand above the rest when it comes to uniforms and here is a selection.

Embrace your inner geek

The Oregon Ducks new season uniform is like a dark stormtrooper!
Imagine you have spent ten years building your own business, well you probably already feel a bit like the emperor fighting against those pesky Jedi knights. Why not just go the whole hog and have your staff dress as stormtroopers. Depending on the work involved it may be a bit uncomfortable but i'm sure there will be a compromise.

Go Ultimate Sexy
Hooters uniforms are small! But women still eat there!
 Going sexy may put off some customers but it will attract more than it will lose, the biggest thing to ensure is you don't turn your business into a lap dancing bar. Also remember people like to use their imagination, the topless hairdressers which lasted not even a year in Paisley may seem like a great business venture but it isn't! And the sexier you go the more muscle you need to keep your customers in line!

Make them look important

Making your staff look important is a must for certain types of work, you will find hi vis vests or accessory belts do the trick very well. That bright yellow jacket makes people associate with authority and can make your employees jobs a lot easier!

Use your colours wisely
The colours you choose are important, really they are. The problem with bright uniforms is it makes people want to look away. The other problem with bright uniforms is that they don't last very long, a bright yellow may turn into a mustard mess and you have just blown your annual budget on those nicely tailored garments. Ensure your colours blend naturally with your logo but you don't have to go overboard, a three or two tone design is sufficient.

Make them funny

If all else fails why not just go with humour, if your customers are laughing then their guard is down and your staff can get that sale, even if they do look like clowns! 

Why not print your own work-wear designs today!

Tuesday, 6 August 2013

Keep Your Van Gogh I'll have a Movie Poster!

One day you wake up and realise you are indeed an adult, it didn't happen over night but your discovery of the event will hit you like a blast of cold air. When you are young it's often easy to think of those rebelious thoughts, I'm never getting old! When in reality the number of complaints you make each day increases, you find yourself craving things from your past and you realise everything that is popular today is crap compared with your youth. 

As computer technology and art evolved so quickly since the 80's you will find that you aren't like your parents or grandparents, with their twee house decor and old fashioned dress sense. It's more common now to see middle aged men playing video games and wearing baggy jeans, this is their generations old age, filled with rock music and grand theft auto.Which has led to an increase in the types of art you will find in most homes, personally i avoid art preferring photography of places I love, signed memorobilia and of course Retro Movie posters. 

This type of art is a throwback to the days of posters hanging your bedroom wall, but instead of being the offcasts of your local cinema or video shop, or perhaps purchased from that once great shop Athena they have been digitally printed using a myriad of the available online places.

Here are some cracking examples that may take you back to those glory days of video rentals and the invention of microwave popcorn:

And to go one further you can even now get any image printed onto a t-shirt, hoodie or other garments...even a mug!