Monday, 16 September 2013

5 of the best ways to quit your job...go on do it now!

Gone are the days of life-long careers working your way up the ranks of a large company or local industry. People these days if they are able to get a job grow tired and bored of it moving on average every 2 to 3 years. This is in part due to the pursuit of more money but also due to the lack of staying power, let's be honest nobody wants a boss like Simon Cowell pointing out your flaws everyday, or worse a foul mouths ranter like Gordon Ramsay who will most likely send you insane with stress and anxiety.

So if you find yourself at that point in time you need to leave your job ask yourself the following question: Can you afford to burn this bridge? If the answer is Yes then here is some great ways to do it, otherwise just enjoy these nuggets of other peoples strength!

Tell the truth - The temptation is of course to lie and say your pleasant goodbyes to those people who used to say good morning to you but had no idea what they did for a living, get your crap bottle of leaving wine and then sail out the doors with a smile on your face. But why should you have to pretend that it's ok, why not just blow your load and tell everyone the truth, "thanks for the work but I'm no longer deemed good enough bye!" That is exactly what Groupon CEO did when he penned a letter to staff saying "People of Groupon, After four and a half intense and wonderful years as CEO of Groupon, I’ve decided that I’d like to spend more time with my family. Just kidding — I was fired today."

Write it in a cake - Penning your letter of resignation can be tedious, the fine line between bitter honesty and polite sentiment. Most letters don't come as a surprise, if you are at that stage then others around you have probably already told your boss you are miserable, either in an attempt to get your job or simply because the brown stain on their nose was rubbing off. Baking a cake is a win/win situation, people get a nice cake, you get to say goodbye in a tasteful way! (get it TASTE-full)

Do it on Social media - Facebook has often gotten employees in trouble with their bosses, forgetting they are on your friends list is a bad mistake to make. 

But if you intentionally quit your job on Facebook it will go down in history and get the gossip going around the water cooler. Being able to say what you want is always easier in written format, the lack of instant reply lets you get out all your grievances in one go. But remember anything written can be saved and used against you, so don't be asking for a reference any time soon.

Just go AWOL - After a particularly hard day at my catering job during my University days I decided I wouldn't go back, to be honest I was on my fifth shot of tequila when I decided, knowing the chances of me waking up the next day were slim so there would be no way I was going in. 

The boss was a dragon, the type of women you see in Victorian period dramas directing all those house maids and servants around. I just never went back in, having another job in the next week I figured best to just never mention I was already employed around the corner. About six months later I received some back pay (minus the cost of my uniform that I had never returned) and that was that. Being a Uni job it wasn't really something I was relying on for references but to my surprise there was a glowing reference from my boss, so perhaps they realised the errors of their tyrannical ways and hopefully it made some future employees life a little easier.

Do it on National TV - Being a journalist and having morals doesn't usually go hand in hand, but this video shows how damaging it can be to your boss to quit in front of the customers. Especially if there are thousands of them watching you. Making a public stand can actually open doors of employment up elsewhere creating a mini-celebrity persona for you. 

So that's it, you have now got a way to quit your job, if only you had a sure fire way to pay your bills then you could use one them tomorrow!