Wednesday, 27 November 2013

What does your t-shirt say about you?

T-shirts are globally the most worn piece of outer clothing. Everyone has a t-shirt in their wardrobe and some have an amazing collection, but have you ever wondered what people see when you walk past them with your t-shirt on? A walking bilboard to your personality, a gateway to your mind or simply a projection of what you believe, the slogan on your chest is important.



Little Symbols

If you wear a t-shirt which has nothing more than a corporate logo then effectively you are nothing more than a walking advert. Brands want to market their clothing in adverts using cool people, pretty people, young people, etc. You aren't the advert and you shouldn't pretend to be. They say a cluttered place is a sign of a cluttered mind, but by that logic what does it make an empty room. Buying clothing for their street cred label is a foolish idea and shows a lack of free thinking. 

 Im Hip and I'm Cool

By getting on a bandwagon you can appear to others to be a sheep, buying a Keep Calm t-shirt in 2013 is kind of like showing up for a Beatles gig in 1999 and wondering why nobody else is there. You are so late for the party that you don't even get a beer, the cool kids have paired off and gone home and you only appeal to the left overs, who are probably so drunk they won't remember who you are in two seconds. Being hip and cool is a race, you need to be on the ball, ready to get that must have item before everyone else does, seeing a t-shirt on the TV or worn by your favourite pop star is a great way to inspire something that interests you but why wait till that local Chain outlet is selling them, get your own one made up especially for you, with your own little twist today, yes right now here is a link to get your own personalised t-shirt.


I'm Political

I love political t-shirts even if I don't love the message I like to conviction it shows in the wearer, proud to announce to complete strangers their views. A message can be powerful, provoke thought and spark political interest in an otherwise uninterested party. The only issue with political attire is that you may end up finding yourself stuck on a tube train in rush hour surrounded by corporate wage slaves wearing an Anarchy t-shirt and know exactly what loneliness is. So wear it proud but don't get yourself into danger.

I Don't get Irony

I was big into the Indie scene growing up and part of my love of music meant I wanted to learn about these musical Gods. I listened to interviews, I read every bit of the album insert and I even would sit up late to watch documentaries. I understood their message, their perspective and I put my own feeling and stamp on what the music meant to me. Seeing someone wear a Nirvana t-shirt depresses me, Kurt Cobain was ashamed of the success and vehicle for money his music became, selling out is a rock stars nightmare and seeing crowds of kids wear smiley faces would be enough to make you turn in your grave.

I'm Outrageous

I'm so outrageous I wear a t-shirt which will offend lots of people. Not only that I'm really proud of wearing an offensive t-shirt. I would never wear offensive language on my chest because I wouldn't want to subject children to it. It shows a lack of class and a total ignorance of your local community. It may seem funny or outrageous at first but in the end you simply project the message that you don't care and are to be avoided.

I'm in Trouble

Wearing a t-shirt in the wrong place at the wrong time is enough to make anyone sweat. Like the wearing a George Bush t-shirt to an Obama conference or a Blur t-shirt to an Oasis gig you are taking a big risk. Of course if thats your aim then lets hope you know kung fu.

Monday, 11 November 2013

Not my Kids - 5 of the worst Uni jobs!

The best thing about higher education is that you can put off actually having to make a decision about your future career for another 4 years. Unfortunately unless your parents are wealthy and supportive then going to University is not the easy government grant funded adventure it used to be, more than likely as a student you will need a casual job. Paying for things when you move out of home is hard, beer and food alone can take up most of your student loan so how do you pay for accomodation and basic heating on top? Getting a job when a student can also be tricky, especially if you don't do retail!

So as a student what are some of the more popular ways to make money? Easy money is hard to come by especially if your looking for the kind of work that your parents would approve of, so maybe tell them that you got a job on the campus library and hope they never check your payslips!

Stripping

Taking your clothes off for money may be tempting, especially when you consider just how much money you could make but it may also lead to complications with friends and family. Just imagine your uncle walked in for a lap dance or your sister in law was throwing a hen party and you where there. Also think about how you might explain to your mum the bag full of sexy clothing you keep sending home to be washed!

Sperm Bank

Lets face it, whilst not attending lectures you will probably spend a fair amount of time jacking off to internet porn. Do not be tempted to turn this into a career path, students are the most likely group to donate to sperm banks but remember this isn't a decision to be taken lightly, you are potentially helping someone in need conceive a child, thats a real life!

Modelling

For those who are afraid of human interaction webcams have created a boom industry in online 'modelling'. Of course this just means stripping on camera, but be careful because you may be recorded and in ten years time when you apply for that law firm job, they do a quick google face recognition search and pow your porn career comes back to haunt you. The only good thing about cam modelling is that there is a niche for everyone, so even if you are the elephant man you could probably make some cash from it!

 Paid Writing

You really need to get into this for the long term, making money from writing won't happen  quickly and won't pay well unless you put the effort in. Doing paid surveys is just as useless, taking up lots of time and giving you little in return. Of course if you had been a savvy kid then you would already have a well established blog giving you a passive income by now!

Movie Extra

When I was a student I signed up to an agency for extra work, helps if you are in a big city as there are more films and TV shot there. The money is awesome and the job is fun, but you may find that competition is harder these days. If you don't answer you phone when they call you miss out and likely miss out on future jobs too, reliability at short notice is the name of the game!


Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Computer Game Movies - Does it Ever Work?

Since the 80's Hollywood have been dipping into the creative genuis of Computer games industry to find inspiration. Long gone are the days where it is all one way traffic, a quickly branded game sping off from a successful movie using an old licence for an actual playable game, simply a mechanism to milk more money from the fans with little or no thought. But has this reversed blend of user interactive small screen to big screen ever been a success? Here are five examples of game/movie crossovers.

Mario Brothers - $20m at the Box Office

Excluding regional based movies this was the first major motion picture to reach our screens across the globe in 1993. A game that entertained  generation had such a huge fan base that surely no matter how poor the film was it would be a success right? Eh well no, its hardly even available on DVD now and you won't find many copies of the VHS in lofts either, having all been gifted to the local charity shop!

Tomb Raider - $274m at the Box Office

So how do you make a good movie? First you need to get an A-List star to feature in it. Surely a gorgeous star is more desirable than a computer enhanced image, unfortunately they got this wrong and we quickly discovered the computer version of Lara Croft is indeed not only better looking but also a better actor! But this proved to be the first real money spinner in the Game to Movie industry.

Resident Evil - $102m at the Box Office

Many people don't realise where this franchise began, many believing the film and games go hand in hand, but true fans all know the origin was in one of the most addictive violent games of its time. Zombie culture is old hat now, with the rise of zombie TV shows and films it is all become very mainstream, but this means more and more fans coming to this series, often via the movies. 

Silent Hill - $97m at the Box Office

Groundbreaking games with atmosphere were not the common occurrence you see with HD graphics and online multi-player when Silent Hill gave us all a fright for the first time. This cloudy scare-fest was a sure fire hit for both the movie and the game, foggy and filled with haunting creatures all centered around finding your lost child.  

Prince of Persia - $335m at the Box Office

So before Prince of Persia the most successful cross over has come from the Horror Genre, with a much larger cult following than other genres. But this well made film, complete with believable acting just might have broken the curse. The biggest grossing Game to movie franchise to date.

So where next?


Call of Duty on the big screen or perhaps Grand Theft Auto the movie? Whatever the answer we can be sure that with sales of GTA and COD reaching over $500m in one weekend any movie is unlikely to be as financially viable.




Monday, 4 November 2013

Post Apocalypse Dating Tips

 There are many ways the apocalypse could happen, resulting in the majority of the human race being wiped out. So what do you do when you discover you are in a dwindling pool of singles? Here is some great advice to help you find a perfect match during this difficult time.

Check for bites!

There is not point in getting involved with someone who is about to turn into a flesh eating zombie, or begin to mutate from that radiation during the nukes. Health in a post apocalypse won't be like now, insurance will be nothing more than a paper document you once had and Doctors will be in high demand. If you do fall for a brain hungry gobbler then be sure to keep them on a tight leash, it may offend any other survivors you meet. 

Don't forget to Put the effort in

If Hollywood has taught us anything it is that we are most likely to find ourselves holed up with a gloriously beautiful person, with the apocalypse wiping out the competition your chance has never got better, but to be in with a real shot you do need to shower. Finding a fresh water source and looting some nice clothes may just be worth the risk!

Jealousy is a thing of the Past

With technology networks across the globe now rotting artifacts of a lost civilization then you need not worry about who has just messaged them on facebook, what emails they are getting or that their ex follows them on twitter. If however you still find yourself desperately paranoid then simply loot a decent lie detector kit, with instruction manual, more fun than a game of monopoly!

Avoid the Honey Trap

If I was an atractive single in a post apocalyptic world and needed to find food, shelter and a supply of entertainment I may just use my charms to con people. Don't be fooled by just anyone, just because you stumble across a hot lonely stranger this may not be fate it could in fact be a trap to rob you of your possessions.

Be Safe

You have to find shelter, food and water before you can etch out a life for yourself and your newly discover love. The last thing you need is a baby, so remember there are pharmacies in every town, go get some birth control!

And remember during the apocalypse the internet won't be working, so you cannot rely on online dating websites for your dating needs! If all else fails you can always try setting up a speed dating event, it's easier to go fast when there are hoardes of hungry zombies and looters at the door.